Only a rock band can name a greatest hits album, ‘Films About Ghosts’, and it sells, well. These wazungus are special! Thing is, listening to this album I realised, for the umpteenth time, that there is so much music I have never heard, or heard about. Before this, the only Counting Crows songs I knew well were ‘A Long December’ and ‘Mr Jones’, and even then my interest was largely motivated by the lead singer’s dreadlocks. Then I listened to this compilation and I felt great shame, this band really is quite brilliant, and by quite I mean very. But all this has nothing to do with today’s rant, today it’s about one particular track, ‘Friend of the Devil’, their cover of a Grateful Dead classic. I know, I’m usually the one bitching about covers, but this one could possibly be better than the original (cue irate Dead fans…). If I had to describe a man, this man, with only one song, this would be it, it captures him better than any 1000 words I put down ever will. But seeing as how you all don’t play the soundtrack, you useless buggers, write I must.
“Set out runnin' but I take my time, a friend of the devil is a friend of mine,
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight…”
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight…”
Over the last couple of months I’ve been having conversations with a devil. He’s not actually The Devil, obviously, contrary to public opinion I do not have a hotline to hell. Yet. But he is an evil, evil man, a semi-devil. Really. I smell sulphur when I see his name in my inbox, and it probably doesn’t help that he likes to do the “Bwaahaahaahaahaa…” evil laugh thingi. This of course begs the obvious question, why am I talking to this man? Well, because he’s an honest evil man, as honest as a seemingly amoral being can be that is. Perhaps honest is the wrong word here, forthright may be more appropriate. And what’s he so forthright about? His whoring ways of course, this man is a self-confessed dog. No really, he calls himself a dog, this isn’t an ‘all men are dogs’ rant. Simply put, the man has no qualms screwing around, for no reason other than because he can. You heard me, because he can. He makes no apologies for his actions, and despite my constant prodding, apparently feels no remorse. He is a superbly flawed character. Goes without saying that he fascinates me to no end…
On the surface of things, a man such as my semi-devil is a truly amoral creature with no hope for redemption. He screws around, sometimes recklessly, and then he brags about it, and even worse, some of us applaud, usually undercover though. But that’s only one side to the man, he’s also a professional man, practically a workaholic, and he’s a man who cares deeply for his family, such as it is. Getting to know a bit of the man behind the blog has forced me to redraw the image I had of him, flesh it out, add some character to the character, so to speak, and now I struggle to write him off as a bad, bad man. The worst thing I can say about him is that he’s a bit of an idiot, obsessed with ass, with issues from here to Timbuktu
“Ran into the devil, babe, he loaned me twenty bills
I spent the night inUtah
I spent the night in
Thing is, after talking to all manner of idiots, I’ve learnt not to buy the perfect image a lot of us keep trying to sell. Some of these smartly dressed, good job holding, god fearing, pillar of society types are not very good people, some of them will cheat, steal and kill just to get ahead, all the while hiding their filthy natures under their designer suits, with matching iPad purses. For others, it’s simply a case of wearing a mask to hide the pain and dysfunction in their lives, convinced that if they fake it long enough, then one day they’ll make it, no? And once in a (long) while you’ll come across the unique souls that actually are as good, or bad, as they appear to be, people who can’t be bothered to bullshit you, or themselves. ‘Where am I going with this?’ you ask, confused. Honesty, that’s the point I’m struggling to make. More to the point, living an honest life. Does that sound suitably pious? Fret not, I can safely assure you that I am many things, but I am not pious, not even when I’m delusional.
My definition of living an honest life is living true to who, or what, you are, its about honesty to self, because its only by doing that that can you be honest with others. You don’t see tigers running around trying to be zebras, eating grass and what not, just because they have stripes too? No. A tiger will be a tiger no matter what, and it makes no apologies for eating the zebra (I know, tigers and zebras live on different continents, but let’s not split hairs, I’m trying to make a point here). Similarly, if you’re a whoring bastard (and this applies to both sexes), then what business do you have acting like a saint, or vice versa? I figure there’s more than enough space on this crowded planet for all types. If your pleasure is random sex and partying then so be it, that’s why man made Las Vegas Katt Williams
“I ran down to the levee but the devil caught me there
He took my twenty dollar bill and vanished in the air…”
He took my twenty dollar bill and vanished in the air…”
My question is this, is it better to be a Hugh (or Harriet) Hefner, openly living a life of grand excess and debauchery, this while earning your living, taking care of your family (if any), contributing to society and what not; or to be a seemingly mild mannered ‘Alex’, but with a hidden Hefner alter ego, quietly going about your business in accordance with all that’s expected of you, but every so often donning your disguise and letting your bad side run riot? Does conforming to society’s ideals all the while concealing your own non-conformist nature make you a hypocrite, or are you simply being a pragmatic bugger who knows that showing your true self will inevitably make your life that much harder, hence the decision to hide that which is considered wrong? This goes further than being a langa bastard, it applies to all of us who for one reason or another don’t fit into society’s mould. Senior bachelor/spinster, atheist, homosexual, polygamist, divorcee, there’s countless people who don’t, or don’t want to, or simply can’t, subscribe to the narrow definition we’re constantly being bullied into, but rather than have to constantly fight (for the right to party in Doc’s case…), we choose to pretend, or conceal. It’s easier, no? Thing is, by hiding who we really are, aren’t we perpetuating the myth that we’re all the same, all ‘normal’, thereby making it even harder to be our true selves? It’s a negative feedback mechanism, isn’t it?
“Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night,
The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie, and she's my hearts delight.
The second one is prison, babe, the sheriff's on my trail,
And if he catches up with me, I'll spend my life in jail…”
The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie, and she's my hearts delight.
The second one is prison, babe, the sheriff's on my trail,
And if he catches up with me, I'll spend my life in jail…”
Using this twisted logic, my biggest gripe with my semi-devil seems to be the semi part, I don’t understand why he insists on going the katikati yao route, I say if you’re going to be a dog, be a dog, a real dog, otherwise you’re just a goat with sharp teeth. You know what happens to goats? They get slaughtered and eaten, and then their heads are boiled for soup. That never happens to a dog, not around these parts anyway. Listen, it’s not like the decision to be one or the other is irreversible, you’re allowed to change your mind, and ways, whenever you so desire. We all know crazy buggers who whored their way through their 20’s and now in their 40’s are ‘model citizens’, similarly I know people who were suitably ‘upright’ for the first half of their lives and are now spending the second half as close to horizontal as possible, being amateur whores and loving it. Bora you don’t kill anyone, shida iko wapi? All I’m saying is, the last time I checked, being a good person is not synonymous with living like a monk.
I’m well aware that next to no one will agree with me here, and that’s okay, I’m not trying to convince anyone. The reason I wrote this is simply because my semi-devil has been known to stage sit-ins here every so often. This is an explanation, and a warning. For all his flaws, and he has several, as we all do, the man is honest, for the most part, about who and what he is, and that has earned him my grudging respect. If you have a problem with him and his ilk, leave it here, or don’t go there. Trust me, its much worse than it looks, but damn it if he doesn’t get you laughing…
“Got a wife in Chino
The first one says she's got my child, but it don't look like me…”
The first one says she's got my child, but it don't look like me…”
