30.10.14

A picture is (in this case, literally) worth a thousand words.


You know things are bad when the intro to a post is a cartoon, but in my defence, it's Pinky and the Brain.  Don't look at me like that, this here is profound.  Hell, it's more profound than I'm feeling right now.  When all else fails, my lovelies, always turn to the mice.

Noreaga, Genghis Khan, Saddam Hussein, and me the Brain, 
we all have this one thing in common: we are into world domination.
(It's a new sensation, try it and you'll feel elation.)
It's the gift to give the guy who wants everything. 


I haven’t talked about siasa for three months, not because there's nothing to talk about, but because there's nothing new to say.  The government is still being special, the opposition is still trying to locate its own ass(hole) and the media are still doing whatever the fuck it is they do when they're not reporting news.  Seriously, I can reblog the posts from June, with only slight modification of names and dates, and they would still be as relevant today as they were back then.  Nothing has changed.  Hang on, that's not entirely accurate.  Al Shabaab have left us alone these past few months, which could either mean the cops are hard at work, or the terrorists weren’t as hard at work as we were led to believe.  I choose to go with the hard working cops theory, as implausible as it is, because the 'it wasn’t the terrorists throwing grenades' theory is a bit of a rabbit hole, the type of rabbit hole that has you written off as a nutter should you choose to wander down that path.  I'm already a nutter, so no, not going there.  With this in mind...

So the prezzo?  Sema superstar!  At the rate things are going he may just turn out to be the long awaited redeemer, returned to save us from a painful eternity in the bowels of hell.  But wait...


I'm just saying, what started off as a seemingly harmless exercise of remaking him in Barack's image has now gone above and beyond. 

These days the man is Jack Bauer...
There's no for jokes...
Rambo...
source: twitter
And he carries his own chair, so there.
Rambo wa maji...
source: twitter
Putting the C back in C in C.
Walker Texas Ranger...

source: twitter
Yee haw!
Just blowing shit up...
source: twitter
See how the ship goes boom!
and chasing bad guys down.
source: twitter
He just had to get on the motorcycle.

Inspiring others to do the same...
source: twitter
Be the best that you can be.

(Military takeovers!)
Governmental makeovers!
(Coup d'├ętat will be confined!)
It keeps your junta occupied. 

And when he's not out saving the world, he's preaching democracy to all that will listen...
source: twitter
From the podium at the UN no less.  ICC for what?
source: twitter
Maybe not to this guy though, this one he sought advice from, on how to manage oil wealth.

A man of the people...
source: twitter
Look at him walking to his office, with his little blonde friend.
source: twitter
I haven't seen flags like those at State House since...

with the people...
source: twitter
He'll talk to you...
source: twitter
...and dance with you...
source: twitter
...drink with you...
source: twitter
...he'll even eat with you.  Yes sir, we know, that right there is the shiznit.

occasionally, he's even one of the people...
source: twitter
Its not every day the CEO of KQ escorts a private citizen to his plane, is it?

He's a loving husband...
source: twitter
That's one hell of a suit he has on, especially the left arm...

Best friend...
source: twitter
He knows Billy will be waiting for him at the airport...
source: twitter
...always.
Brings a tear to my eye.

Proud boss...
source: twitter
Because its not at all strange that a CS would have the president at her homecoming, or that she's having a homecoming.

Manager of all things digital...
source: twitter
The land registry...
source: twitter
...KRA...
source: twitter
...even the biometric thingamajig.  This is the new 500M one, because the 7B one worked so well.

Mkulima Number One...
source: twitter
Tubers can be fascinating...
source: twitter
...very fascinating.
source: twitter
I have no idea what's going on here, but it looks suspect.  Nay, fowl.
(I know its bad, but you can't have a picture of a chicken and not make a fowl joke.)

and a rally enthusiast...
source: twitter
Lakini that thumbs up is in kuyo...

He also has a passion for the arts...
source: twitter
See the art installation on the left, with what appears to be mounting going on, very artistic.
He does loves a good boy band, no?

Ah Mr President, you are the man.
source: news.com.au
I know, I feel it too.

So, if you have a calculator, you can be a great dictator. 
Let each country that you covet equal X (You're gonna love it!) multiply by Y not try it, 
If the people start to riot, you can always say that they are just a bunch of kooks. 

People just need to be led!
(By a mouse with a big head!)
To their weakness, they'll succumb!
(If you give them chewing gum!) 
It may bother them a bit.
(But they'll soon get over it)
They won't whine when I'm the Czar of all that we see, near and far!