For someone exactly like you,
I’ve been travelling all around the world,
Waiting for you to come through…
Any lover of Rom Com’s knows this song only too well, it was used most memorably in ‘Bridget Jones’, the grand finale (i.e. the big kiss at the end), after she ran down the street in the middle of deep winter, in her knickers, to go get her man. Slight detour, that kiss, to which this song is the soundtrack, transformed
Someone like you, keep me satisfied,
After writing a dodgy reply to a man who at this point must be staring at the email and wondering, ‘What was the question again?’ (such is the vagueness of my response), I decided to do a bit of research, convinced that, as with all problems man-related, google would have the answers I seek, and it did. Another slight detour. You know how they have that suggestion thingi that tries to guess what you want to ask, giving you options as you type in your query? Apparently the suggestions are based in part on your search history, which is why these days when I type in anything that has ‘man’, the suggestions all have something to do with relationships, or sex, or a song. That’s right, in my quest to bring you knowledge I have been marked as a thieving pirate, or a lonely woman, or a lonely horny woman. Damn you google and all your snide little suggestions, damn you! Detour over. This is the best of what I found, and to be on the safe side you may want to read them for yourselves, because I have been known to mislead people in an attempt at making a point: What Women Want, A Woman’s Worth, What a girl wants and 10 ways to be the man women want.
Looking for someone exactly like you,
I’ve been carrying my heavy load,
Waiting for the light to come shining through…
A man they can trust refers to sincerity and honesty, two qualities that were at the top of all but one list. Simply put, (grown ass) women want a man who will be straight with her, whether or not she likes the truth he tells her. And this is not just about what he says, but who he is as well, which means no pretending to be something, or someone, you’re not. I know you think that women are shallow, fickle creatures who are easily distracted by shiny objects and what not, but I assure you, she will see through your ruse, sooner rather than later. What you need to remember at all times is this, when a woman is interested in a man, she will go to great lengths to sniff out each and every flaw the man possesses. She’s like a bloodhound and you, sir, in all your pretence, are nothing but a decomposing corpse, in a shallow grave, lying hidden in the swamp about to be discovered. Now that I think about it, this is probably why women take deceit so seriously, and why lying to the woman is considered unforgivable. Trust is the first hurdle you must jump, the last thing she needs is to find out that not only did you not jump the damn thing, you burnt it in a bonfire out back in the dark of night. Lie to a woman at the beginning and you will never recover, not unless you have great skills of persuasion, or you are now a reformed man. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
To find out where you are at,
I’ve been up and down the highway,
In all kinds of foreign lands…
That a woman wants to her man to be her friend seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it? Apparently not. Gentlemen, this is where all the smart, funny and adventurous stuff comes in, because apparently women not only want to talk to their men, they want to enjoy hanging out with them too, they want to be your pal. Who knew? Yes, I’m mocking you buggers. For some reason men, at least the men I’ve tried to date recently, don’t seem to understand this bit. Where men place sex before friendship, women tend to do the reverse, at least when it comes to serious relationships, not flings. The reason women like funny men is simply because they make us happy, and we like to be happy. Again, who knew? We love smart men because smart men are interesting to talk to, and occasionally they teach us something new, and we like that, a lot. We crave men who will drag us out of our little cocoons and help us do all the interesting crap we’ve been dreaming of, or maybe join us on the exciting journeys we’re already on. That’s what the shared interests are about, dammit, we just wanna hang with you. These are the men who make us feel good about who we are, the way (real) friends do. Are you willing to be that man? If not, you might want to leave the poor woman to get on with her search, go focus on your funga instead. Just a thought.
Now I know that you men place a lot of emphasis on this ‘let’s be lovers’ part, because sex is almost always at the front of your minds, and that’s okay, sex is in fact quite important to your relationship. But even as you go out in search of your woman, please keep in mind that this is at the end of her list, granted its a very short list, but it still came last. Turns out, she hasn’t been holding out on you to make you suffer, its just not a priority to her right now, she’s just trying to be your friend first, no? Insert evil laughter here…
Marching to the beat of a different drum,
But just lately I have realised,
The best is yet to come…
Clearly I have no clue, but I can tell you this much, I’ll know what I want when I see it.