This one is about the comment that never came, little shits and the bloody paper.

Hands up everyone who’s been waiting for JaybloodyK to post another comment.  Come on, stop pretending, you think I haven’t seen you stopping by every 6 or so hours?  Put your damn hand up… my hand is up and I’m not ashamed to say it.  I have been waiting three, count them, three whole days for that bugger to come back here and finish what he started, but nooooooo…  He’s too busy doing whatever the fuck he was doing before he rocked up in my house two weeks ago and rearranged my bloody furniture.  You know what he is?  He is a usurper, he usurped my shit and then he just wandered off.  Nkt!  That’s right Jay, I just Nkt’d you, so there! 

Seriously, dude… where’s my car?

And with that little piece of amateur sketch comedy, the matter of the vanishing JayK has now been closed until further notice.

Moving on swiftly…

I haven’t done one of my Dunia Wiki Hii rants for a while now, not because there’s nothing going in this special country of ours, but simply because I refuse to get worked up about it any more.  I figure, come December, when silly (read election) season is well under way, I will be so consumed with matters idiotic that its probably best I take a vacation first.  So I’m not going to sit here and bitch about those little shits we call MP’s; or the not so youthful presidential candidate who told Kofi Annan to, and I paraphrase, go fuck himself; or el presidente’s spokesman who admitted to snubbing said Mr Annan, but only because Mr Annan didn’t ‘firm up’ the appointment; or the MRC chap who was so thoroughly beaten by the cops that if he wasn’t a violent man when he went in, he sure as hell will be when he gets out; or the farce of a procurement process for the biometric thingis, because its very hard to buy shit when you have money; or the other farce that is the helicopter inquiry (note to self: usipande ndege ya serikali, ever!); or the Vice President’s ridiculously ugly palatial digs, and the one they want to buy the CJ, and the one a former army general turned Commish turned Postmaster General turned one-time contestant on Hague TV is trying to sell off; or our Ministers of Health’s shamelessness when dealing with our health care practitioners, when they both went abroad for treatment…  Woooosaaaaa! 

The number of things I could, and maybe should, bitch about is lengthy, but I’ve realised that if I’m not doing anything about it, then I’m not really helping the situation.  Sure, I feel much better after a rant, but then what?  Raising consciousness?  Ptuh!  I’ll do that shit in December, when the sun is shining. 

I must have a bit of a rant though, and this time it’s directed at my favourite people in the whole wide world, the lovely people over at the Saturday Nation.  You buggers, its bad enough that I would work myself up into quite a state each week on reading your very special columnists, but you, you bloody geniuses, you saw fit to bump off Femalespeak?  And you replaced her with what?  Ati woman of passion?  Eh?  Now you listen here, you bastards, when you moved Guy Mauwhatshisname to Monday, I mourned, for weeks, but I got over it.  Removing Ms Njoki, however, is unforgivable.  I may not have agreed with what she was saying half the time, but she got me thinking all the time.  Here’s a thought, thinking is good, I like to think, I like women who write thought provoking articles because they make me think, and I really like women who piss me off in the process, because then I have something to blog about.  You selfish bastards! 

It occurs to me that a more placating tone would be better suited to this appeal, no?  Ah well…

Listen you geniuses, for those of us newspaper junkies out here, we appreciate good writing, irrespective of whether or not we agree with the opinion expressed therein.  Ms Njoki was good writing, maybe a little troubled, but good, so bring her the fuck back and get rid of the idiots who write those boring features, like the X guy, and the Billy dude.  And stop with all the baby crap…oh wait, that’s the Standard…sorry, my bad.  I was saying, bring her back or I will stop buying your damn paper, and despite the ludicrous ads with the competing handbags and your 80% market-share, I’ve seen your circulation numbers my friends, you need all the paying customers you can get. 

Please?  There, I’ve asked nicely.

Oh and by the way, good work on the election coverage, I just love how you’ve stuck everything on two pages, helpfully titled Election Politics.  It makes it much easier to skip right over all the bullshit and go straight to Gado.  Good looking out.