"Let me take off all your clothes,
Disconnect the phone so nobody knows..."
This is a salacious tale of lust and (mild) perversion. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
I had one of the most fabulous ‘not a date’ dates of my adult life a couple of weeks ago, and I can’t talk about it. I want to talk about it, I’m itching to give you all the gory details, but because it’s not only my story to tell, I can’t, or is it won’t? You have to give me credit here, I’m finally learning not to tempt fate. Folks, this is one gift horse I will not be looking in the mouth. That said, I’m bloody frustrated with this situation. Just this once I’d love to talk about time spent with a man that didn’t end with me pissed off or disappointed. But noooo… this was ‘not a date’, and thus cannot be treated as such. It was just one of those nights when the planets were aligned and the gods were smiling down on me saying, “Throw her a bone(r), she looks like she could use a good shag, don’t you think?”
Disconnect the phone so nobody knows..."
This is a salacious tale of lust and (mild) perversion. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
I had one of the most fabulous ‘not a date’ dates of my adult life a couple of weeks ago, and I can’t talk about it. I want to talk about it, I’m itching to give you all the gory details, but because it’s not only my story to tell, I can’t, or is it won’t? You have to give me credit here, I’m finally learning not to tempt fate. Folks, this is one gift horse I will not be looking in the mouth. That said, I’m bloody frustrated with this situation. Just this once I’d love to talk about time spent with a man that didn’t end with me pissed off or disappointed. But noooo… this was ‘not a date’, and thus cannot be treated as such. It was just one of those nights when the planets were aligned and the gods were smiling down on me saying, “Throw her a bone(r), she looks like she could use a good shag, don’t you think?”
In case that intro didn’t scare you off and you’re sitting there thinking that I’m about to start an eloquent rant about dating and shit, you might want to take a closer look at today’s track, the make-out and/or get laid anthem of the first half of the 90’s, at least for those of us who had just finished coming into our hormones aided, no doubt, by the landing of MTV on our shores, courtesy of KTN. Slight detour, if you remember watching this video and blushing furiously (as much as us black folk can…) because your mother just walked into the room, know that your ass is as geriatric as mine. For some reason, my mother would always appear just as the chorus was starting, very creepy! And the subsequent embarrassment of having to explain what they were saying, and why, and why ‘did I like things like that?’ (said with a disgusted sneer) practically scarred me for life. To this day, whenever something even remotely sexual comes on screen, I look over my shoulder, just in case… Further detour, didn’t that lead singer dude have the most delicious looking hair? He looked like a wella ad, all bouffant and shit, he was so dreamy. Last detour, I googled in search of the video and, as always, found out shit I didn’t need to know. Turns out, half the idiots on the internet think the song is crap (they just don’t get it, bloody philistines…), and the other half felt the need to tell me that CMB sampled Betty Wright (look her up, its worth it), among others, and by sampled I mean borrowed somewhat heavily, allegedly. Hell, at one point I was half expecting to find a random connection to Lady bloody Gaga, just to spite me. Damn this internet! Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?
Moving on swiftly…
Now, contrary to my tales of the local and such like nonsense, I’m not much of a people person, which is to say I’m somewhat anti-social. I don’t like crowds, half the time I don’t even like people (present company excluded, of course). Most of my weekends are spent in quiet solitude, the only exceptions being my family every so often, and the fellas derailing me on a randomSaturday night. But the thing about living alone, and being a loner, is this: sometimes, every once in a while, you long for company, you crave real live interaction, as opposed to talking to faceless buggers like you (whom I am very fond of, she said, not wanting to scare off her lovely audience of fifteen or so…). Sometimes, you simply yearn for another person’s presence, their touch. This isn’t about pining for a certain someone, it’s about pining for a certain something. Being single, sometimes you miss being in a relationship. Having someone to talk to when you’ve had a bad day, to share a cognac with when you’ve had a bloody good day. Someone to share a meal with once in a while when you’re tired of cooking for one and eating in front of the TV. Someone to make you a cuppa (plus a biscuit) at ten, or get you a blanket to cover your feet on a cold night. Someone to snuggle up next to, just because you can. Someone you can undress slowly as you make out on the carpet, because you can’t be bothered to stumble into the bedroom…
Moving on swiftly…
Now, contrary to my tales of the local and such like nonsense, I’m not much of a people person, which is to say I’m somewhat anti-social. I don’t like crowds, half the time I don’t even like people (present company excluded, of course). Most of my weekends are spent in quiet solitude, the only exceptions being my family every so often, and the fellas derailing me on a random
I got a call late in the afternoon, he was driving past and wanted to stop by and I was only too happy to see him, I was in need of pleasant company and pointless distraction. Someone to talk to me for a couple of hours, make me laugh, make me think, force me to unwind and lay my burdens down, if only for a couple of hours. Someone to talk to about life and love and everything in between. Someone to sit back with and watch the cars go by, listening to New Jack Swing and reminiscing on an almost forgotten youth. Someone to share my deepest fears and most petty issues with, because he knows me well enough to distinguish between the two, and he’s comfortable doing the same. Someone with whom I can have mind-bending conversations about anything and everything under the sun. Someone who tells me about his life and times, laughing at his little foibles, shrugging off his not so little mistakes, admitting to forgotten passions and revelling in past glories. Someone who willingly acknowledges his weaknesses, allowing me to acknowledge mine. Someone who knows what I’m thinking, sometimes before I do, but still waits patiently for me to form the thought and voice it, minutes later. Someone who looks at me and sees me, and smiles because he’s glad to be there, at that moment, with me, as I am with him. Someone who knows to top up my glass of wine, his hand lingering on my arm for a moment, before he opens another beer.
Someone who’s craving that touch just as much as I am…
Someone to kiss me goodbye at the door, or hello, as he shuts the door, still inside. Someone to nuzzle that spot on my neck, as he slides the shirt off my arms. Someone to slip his hand up my vest, stroking my back, and then my front. Someone to push me up against the wall, mouth teasing me as his fingers work their way down, gently opening me up. Someone to lead me to the bedroom, undressing me slowly as he does, sliding the jeans past my hips, as he eases me down onto the bed to pull them off, one leg at a time. Someone to strip for me, slowly, his breath quickening as I take him in hand, eager to taste him. Someone to lift me up only a few minutes later, urgency overtaking him as he pulls me onto his lap, his hands on my hips, his lips on me as I match his rhythm. Someone to lean back onto the bed as his pleasure overcomes him, pulling me down on top of him. Someone to laugh with, coming down from the high. Someone who refuses to let me get up, pulling me close to him, whispering, let’s do it again…
"Girl you make me feel real good
Someone who’s craving that touch just as much as I am…
Someone to kiss me goodbye at the door, or hello, as he shuts the door, still inside. Someone to nuzzle that spot on my neck, as he slides the shirt off my arms. Someone to slip his hand up my vest, stroking my back, and then my front. Someone to push me up against the wall, mouth teasing me as his fingers work their way down, gently opening me up. Someone to lead me to the bedroom, undressing me slowly as he does, sliding the jeans past my hips, as he eases me down onto the bed to pull them off, one leg at a time. Someone to strip for me, slowly, his breath quickening as I take him in hand, eager to taste him. Someone to lift me up only a few minutes later, urgency overtaking him as he pulls me onto his lap, his hands on my hips, his lips on me as I match his rhythm. Someone to lean back onto the bed as his pleasure overcomes him, pulling me down on top of him. Someone to laugh with, coming down from the high. Someone who refuses to let me get up, pulling me close to him, whispering, let’s do it again…
"Girl you make me feel real good
We can do it 'til we both wake up..."
Hello my lovelies. So what do you say, can you put up with my nonsense for another 6 months? Come on, let’s do it again…
Hello my lovelies. So what do you say, can you put up with my nonsense for another 6 months? Come on, let’s do it again…
