So I've been thinking, rather than trying to coax you useless buggers into conversations you don't want to have, why not go out and find the conversations my own damn self? A new year, new things, yes? No? Ah well, it was Woolie's idea, he says what will really get you all engaged is reading about one of the many characters that squat at the bottom of my page, like you do, once in a while (more like never, but let's not split hairs). He then volunteered himself, all humble like. Yes, I did see the set up, but I'm in the middle of a nasty case of writer's block right now, I'll take whatever I can get by way of inspiration. That and I really like to ask questions, so... Ladies and gentlemen, a new category, conversating with...
ALEX: Before we get into it, I need a
soundtrack. What's your jam, Woolie? Pick wisely, my friend, I feel very strongly about these things...
WOOLIE: Stand by me, Ben E. King.
Classic...very nice. Why?
I listen to it
when things are a bit bumpy. It reminds me how fortunate I am to have
really good people around me. People who have stood by me when the
seas were a bit choppy. It makes all the difference.
Aaaaawwww... Can't really argue with that can I? Now Woolie, tell me, what's the story
with the sheep?
There's no story really, what you see
is the real deal.
So you're a sheep, a real sheep?
:-)
I prefer to think of it as a humane
sheep. I have the soul of a man...
And the fingers...
Sorry, I don't follow what fingers?
:-)
Well you type quite well, can only
assume you have digits, rather than hooves, or are your hooves
digital?
I see what you did there...
Clever, no?
I have to use a voice recognition bit
of kit to put my thoughts into words. You must have noticed the
delays...
I thought it was the hooves...
I agree it is quite unusual...
That's not the half of it. Ha! I've always wanted to ask...
Yes, please, ask away....
Where exactly are you, are you here
in Kenya or over yonder?
In a field far far away, out of Kenya.
A sheep in exile, someone once said.
Diaspora?
Funny you should say that... I have
never identified myself with that word, diaspora. What does it mean?
Who decides who is or isn't in diaspora?
I've never thought to google the
definition, but I've always assumed it refers to a national living
outside the motherland.
Originally the term referred to Jews as
they had been scattered around the world following the sacking of
Jerusalem....
Haiya! For real?
Yes, the term was specifically
referring to that. It was modified (in Kenya) to mean peeps living
outside the motherland.
So why don't you identify with it?
What does it mean? A collective noun
bunching together who?
Anyone outside...
Call them expats. But even then what
possible similarity do they have other than the current national
anthem they are listening to is not Kenya's?
So your objection is the random
grouping? Expats sounds temporary to me, like a two year posting in
Kazakhstan. Emigrant?
The objection is to the
collectivisation. Woolie has little in common with the the young
lady now living and working in Berlin who drives a green BMW, or the
young man in California who owns a used car lot. It seems silly to
bunch all these random types together for a simple short hand.
Thing is, Woolie, we need a term to
refer to the collective. It's not that we're saying you're all the
same, just like calling us all Kenyans doesn't make as a homogeneous
entity, diaspora is simply a distinction between those of us here and
those of you out there.
I totally understand that last point,
the distinction, that is.
Is the distinction relevant?
Is the question. The trouble with
making distinct groupings is the mischief making that then follows.
Mischief?
It is no accident that people feel the
need to divide us - those in Kenya and those outside. Unfortunately
the human condition remains dynamic, these people that would sit
neatly in little boxes marked A,B,C or D are constantly on the move,
making the diaspora tag almost meaningless.
Do you think your view on Kenya and
our madness differs from that of mine, because you live outside?
Not at all. My view on Kenya and our
random eccentricities is informed in part by living in Kenya and also
by observing Kenyan behaviour away from home.
Why the ambiguity, on the blog?
Ambiguity about....
I mean, why do you write like you're
in Kenya?
Oh I see. That is deliberate.
Deliberate?
Hahahaha! Yes.
Are you trying to deceive us,
Woolie? Hahahaha... Is this part of the sheep persona, wooly and
mysterious? Does wooly have one or two l's, by the way?
Woah! I agreed to an interview, not 20
Q's. :-)
Deal with it...
Right, there was plenty here. When I
said deliberate, I meant that the post dictates my location.
It's part of the story, you mean?
Yes. Should a writer's location really
matter?
If your location colours the story,
so to speak, doesn't it matter?
Woolie will be in Kenya if the story
warrants it and in the UK when that is what is called for, I let the
reader work that out for themselves...
So Woolie is a jet set sheep then?
:-)
I would have said un-tethered. :-)
Nicely put.
An excellent question deserves an
answer, no?
Thing is, if today Woolie is on the
farm harvesting a bumper crop, and then next week he's playing
detective on Broadmoor island, we have to wonder what this Woolie
bugger does for a living.
If the reader can identify with either
of these two scenarios or indeed both.
The reader identifies with Woolie,
but Woolie is all over the place, literally.
Then Woolie being here, there or
anywhere becomes immaterial and is just a fantasy...
He's a bit like Tintin...
Nobody has questioned that Woolie the
sheep writes, see?
I did, right at the beginning. :-)
So travelling between two points is a
piece of cake. You like things neat and orderly, I think
everything in its proper place...
I like a thread I can follow,
logic...
...sensible but restricting - like a
bra. Am I allowed to say that?
Hahahaha! You just have.
Your people will edit it, no doubt.
No edit, save for the odd typo.
What does a sheep know about bras?
I have my moments, shall we say. :-)
You favour fiction on the blog, one
true love of yours?
I like fiction. It is liberating, it
defies definition.
An escape?
An escape perhaps or a rejection of
conformity. Here is the deal: I often wake up to conflict, who am
I, what am I doing here? Just like everyone else. At such times, I
feel extremely affronted that anyone could chain me up and put me in
a box marked X, Immigrant, Ethnic piece of .... Asylum seeker,
Diaspora, space hopper....name it, even aliens sometimes. :-) In
fiction one gets to write the rules. You choose the location, the
story, the weather... as you say a temporary escape from insanity.
And Woolie being this amorphous
creature in time and space, that's part of the fantasy?
Ehe. A talking blogging sheep - who
survives from one chriso to the next. It is a fantasy and a bit of a
cover story.
This sheep story is most
complicated, wouldn't it be easier to just let Woolie be a man?
Strange man, but man nonetheless...
Only if one wants to complicate it.
There are layers upon layers but I feel a human is able to handle
that quite well. Children's TV thrives on this sort of duplicity.
True. Do you see your Woolie tales
ever making it to a screen?
Woolie the sheep writes stories about
his adventures with Babu and others....this could easily be adapted.
Of course you would not see Woolie as a sheep then. :-)
You've been blogging for almost 7
years, how?
If you enjoy doing something, and it is
not illegal, immoral or fattening...
Where do the stories come from?
Situations - you spot a comic moment,
or hear about a tragic event. There are as many stories out there as
there are people, places and events. As I say, I like it because it
is not something that I have to do, I am not compelled to do it.
Something you love to do, right?
Does it sound cliché...I love to
write... That is bullshit – oops, sorry...
Hahahaha!
I like to tell a tale or two. Do we
like the sounds of our own voices? Of course, helps to drown out the
other voices in our heads, competing all the time for space and
influence.
Do you ever get tired, or
frustrated? It's lonely this blogging thing, or at least it feels
that way to me sometimes.
Hahaha! It can be tiring when one is
trying to shape something and it just won't work. It can be
frustrating when you sound like a lone voice, but I have never found
it lonely. The words on the page - when you get it just right - they
comfort one. Like a letter from a lover....
That's quite brilliant sir, I'm a
bit lost for words now. :-) Tell me about your audience, who are
they? Do you know? Do you want to know?
The audience is varied and is
essentially Kenyan given the nature of my ka blog. I respect the
comments of three that speak and the silence of the millions of
others. Beyond that...all is well.
Millions, eh? Hahaha... Has your
audience gotten smaller over the years?
It waxes and wanes...I think on the
whole it has probably lost. By that I mean every year a whole fresh
lot of kids attain the age of maturity, the blog should really be
growing in readership injecting fresh outlook and reflecting the
cultural changes of our time.
But even as a fresh bunch is coming
in, the old lot are drifting off, no? Do you feel like you need to
evolve, appeal to the younger audience?
I do sometimes...it is a horrible
sensation, the need to keep running so as to stay on the same spot.
Spoken like a geriatric bugger.
Indeed. I have no qualms about ageing
gracefully.
You have to admit, your blog appeals
to a similarly geriatric bunch, what with tales of hair dye and
all... :-)
I do not hold that against my readers.
I have spoken of issues such as hair dye and been pleasantly
surprised that it touches a cord with some younger twenty somethings.
You have to remember Alex that age is a very temporary thing....I
will not be 27 forever....so to speak.
But that's not something a 27 year
is ready to grasp, is it?
And they should not have to. Live each
year as a permanent residence.
How old are you, Woolie?
I'll be 49 next birthday...
For real?
Yes, I have the scars to prove it.
:-) So what are you doing
perambulating all over the interwebs at your age? Is that ageist of
me?
I think it is a relevant question. The
search for answers did not begin with the phenomenon now called ICT.
People through out the ages have sought answers to their questions,
answers that would offer them fulfilment. The interwebs arrived at
the best time for Woolie, he would otherwise be stuck at the British
council library....with 'not for loan' library books.
Does it bother you that the
interwebs is seen as a young man's game? I don't know of many
bloggers past 40, not Kenyan anyhow...
It doesn't bother me at all. I do
wonder though that one can hold such a view, sincerely, it would mean
of course that there is nothing that an over forty could possibly
have in common with holder of such a view.
Let me put it differently then, do
you find that your age puts you at some disadvantage, online? Locks
you out of some of the conversations?
If there is a certain age - a tipping
point where one loses all relevance - I have not been made aware of
it. One may not enter into certain websites where certain
discussions are held, but I hardly see that a disadvantage.
What do you like to read, online?
I read all manner of things - blogs
covering enough topics across a wide spectrum, I read a bit of poetry
and I am subscribed to several audio book websites... In a nutshell,
I do and certainly many people my age do exactly what everyone else
is doing online...
Everyone else is reading gossip and
surfing porn. Hahahaha. Sorry, inappropriate.
I will not stand here and throw stones.
No, it is not inappropriate, porn is the most visited genre online,
that is just a plain fact, sad but fact.
Do you have any favourites?
Favourites of
what?
As tempting as it is to ask about porn, I won't. Hahaha... What are you reading currently?
I am reading a Khaled Hosseini book,
1000 Splendid Suns.
Ah yes...you put me onto Kite
Runner, still haven't forgiven you. Ha!
That was put onto me too and finishing
that it was inevitable that I moved to the suns. I'm also reading a
book of shorts by Roald Dahl.
Online reading, links you recommend?
Go to audible.com and also
booksshouldbefree.com, I found many classics there...
What's your favourite classic?
A Tale of 2 Cities.
Dickens? I'd never have guessed...
Yes...I like the idea that even today
you can go to Plumstead and follow Shooters Hill on the A2 road...
Eh? Hahahaha...
The book begins with a stagecoach going
to Dover. The coach is overtaken by some riders and the passengers
are scared thinking they have been jacked... The opening
lines...immortal. It was the best of times it was the worst of
times. Just like now, today. :-)
What do you think of the discussions
Kenyans are having, in the forums, blogs, twitter...
Hahahaha!
Don’t laugh...
I am amused because there are so many
aspects to what is going on in this so called "social media
space". Kenya was catapulted from an age of censorship right
into an age of free speech without a half-way house, it has taken a
long time for people to recognise that free speech does not give you
the right to shout 'Fire!' unnecessarily in a crowded cinema. Free
speech means responsible speech.
Do you think we've learnt that yet,
going by what you see on the forums?
We are coming of age....but take 100
babies born on the same day, they will not all walk on the same day.
There are positive changes...and also some pretty nasty challenges.
Are you active on 'social media'?
I'm not that active, but I like a good
tweet, and follow a few interesting tweeters. I guess the term
social media...is a put off of sorts. :-)
It is, no?
It is certainly not social...this
media.
It is most definitely not.
Hahahaha. Wait, I should ask why you say that...
Why social media is anything but
social? Perhaps a definition of social would be in order. People
have called facebook and twitter and others social media, I view them
as people traffic. Just like the bunch of cars all together on Msa
road, nothing social at all about that...it is just loads and loads
of people going somewhere.
Social to you means a community...
...with something that binds them
together. I grant you, it is a loose term so how can it be binding?
What about the forums? Those are a
community of sorts.
Forums bring people with special
interests together. There a good ones and not so good ones...
Do you have any time for them?
Definitely. I think we all do. Every
time we type a search term, "my butt in the car has died"
we get results from forums. :-)
Butt? Typo, Woolie? :-)
I meant battery, Alex....
I should hope so, otherwise you've
taken to killing people in your car and then talking about it on the
interwebs.
I will let that comment slide... I am
no killer but your point is made. :-) I once changed the whole
toilet in my bathroom from a forum. There are extremely useful
forums for all types of subjects under the sun. I have plenty of
time for them and participate in them myself.
So the niche forums you love, as we
all do, I suspect?
We all do. The bathroom post was done
by an elderly gentlemnan in his 50's, a former plumber. The no
interwebs for over 40's movement is still-born.
Hahahaha! You wont let that slide,
will you? Apologies, Woolie, I was just being a mchokozi.
Just saying, he posted videos and shi..
Stuff the 20 somethings would have no clue with whatsoever.
You steer well clear of siasa on
your blog, why?
I choose to, isn’t there enough siasa
about? Some say too much. There are many wonderful political blogs
out there and if I feel the urge to say something, I will do so
there.
Are you apolitical?
I am not apolitical. It is just
that... We discovered this beautiful medium just the other day, why
do you want to give it up to the politicians?
They've taken everything else, no?
I used to be a listener of talk radio
when there was nothing else about. All political blogs are full of
polarised ranting and all manner of bigotry and tyranny. Anyone with
a contrary view is a stooge, or worse.
Even the liberal ones? Allegedly
liberal ones?
I am afraid the liberal ones are the
worst. Politics is that ....poly tricks. A dirty game... How will
you wrestle with swine and retain your dignity? There is nothing
worse than a person with a conviction, in my humble opinion. This
world has been around for 4 billion years and we been area for about
40k years. All the skulduggery that you see today has been around
before...and will be around again, full circle. So no, I eschew
politics kabisa.
You write on social issues though,
often.
Like every one else I have a conscience
that wants to say something every now and then.
Do you find it easier to talk about
serious stuff, like violence in families, through fiction?
Yes. Fiction has the advantage that it
can be used to discuss anything. :-)
Is your audience receptive? What do
your stats tell you, are the stories on heavier issues popular, well
read?
The audience is there for some
issues...but my comments sometimes suggest that I have shocked the
reader...they did not expect it, sort of thing.
You do like to shock us Woolie. :-)
It is a useful tactic, when one wants
to confront a disturbing issue, head on. I will say one thing here,
I have a particularly strong feeling about domestic violence...
Why?
It is something that sadly I have
experienced in my own childhood and later on in my line of work. I
have seen the horrible scars that it leaves on all the people
involved. I have seen that it is the single biggest social ill that
cuts right across the divide of the classes, and I have seen that
there is little to suggest we are dealing with this problem as
effectively as we would like to think.
Are we dealing with it at all, I
wonder?
All the government agencies and NGOs
think so...but I don't know.
Is writing about it cathartic?
Cathartic?
Is writing your therapy, so to
speak?
It helps to get one's thoughts in some
sort of order. But I do not think there is a self-help therapy, when
things are this bad only professional help will do.
You don't like therapy?
I worry about self therapy, is it not
just...bottling it in? Saying mwanaume ni kujikaza?
When you explain it like that, it
does sound like a load of malarkey...
There there, I am just saying...
On a lighter note, what's your
favourite meal, to cook? You like to show off on the blog, pies and
stuff...
I will say, I am fond of so many
dishes...nothing though comes close to me like ugali, with a nice
chicken stew and some lovely cabbage. That is me. Cabbage made
simply, a touch of curry powder added to some softened onion and
tomato...heaven on a plate.
Cabbage? Woi... Hahahaha! What
does the clan Woolie go mad for?
Clan Woolie prefers I do my favourite
chicken and mushroom pie, which they now swear by... :-)
Wise people your clan. We'll be
waiting for that post. :-) Thank you, Woolie.
It has been a pleasure.... :-)
