This was the advice from the (formerly) highly regarded
. In his article in the Sunday Nation, Bad
girls don’t change, so get a good one and train her, the good doctor saw
fit to dispense, umm, wisdom? Tell me, in what world is this… Dr Chris Hart
But there are bad girls, too, who always break their boyfriends’ hearts. You will recognise her on sight! Instantly arousing and loads of fun, she knows exactly how to strut her stuff. The highest heels, shortest skirts, deepest necklines, barest midriffs and the sexiest lingerie – or none at all. She parties all night, loves sex and will happily fulfil any fantasy you can imagine any time you like.
But she is totally untrustworthy and will never be loyal. Every man wants her – and she knows it. She lost her virginity way too soon, laughs and flirts with your friends, and will be with anyone who catches her eye.
But good girls can also be boring and predictable. So no lust or lacy underwear. And even the most faithful girl can bring a mountain of problems. Watch for the signs that she will be awful in bed. Self-conscious, never saying what she wants, endlessly giggling or really quiet, over-analysing everything, afraid to try anything new and never making up her mind.
…even remotely sensible things to say? And how about this…
Instead, marry the girl who eats well, spends more on food than clothes, plays video games and likes being naked around the house. She will be lots of fun – and loyal. Now then, all you need to do is train her to be a wildcat between the sheets.
There is no way a bad girl is ever going to be good. You have to start with someone who is faithful and fun then teach her to be sexually uninhibited. Help her discover her natural sensuality. Show her how great sex creates a powerful bond between you.
Train her to be a wildcat? Teach her to be sexually uninhibited? EH? Forgive me, but this needs to be said. Motherfucker what?
I am taking deep calming breaths right now.
By his definition, I am probably a ‘bad girl’, what with my short skirts and plunging necklines, and virginity lost very early. But wait, I own neither of those items, and I lost my virginity quite late, relatively speaking, and I generally don't receive too much attention from many men, as y'all well know (is why I have a blog, and an imaginary cat). I guess that makes me a ‘good girl’ then, what with my cotton undie wearing, quiet, over analytic ways, right? No, wait, I suspect I know a little something about sex (possibly more than this mother...), and I’m pretty sure my natural sensuality was discovered a long while back. I guess that means I’m one of those exceptional women who are neither one thing nor the other, kinda like every other woman I know.
Doctor, on behalf of all the women who are not ‘disloyal bad girls’ or ‘sexually inhibited good girls’ or house pets looking to be trained, fuck you very much, you silly ass of a man.