I was recently dismayed to hear of the
misfortunes befalling your former place of employ. It must pain you to no end to hear that the
award you so proudly displayed to us is in fact nothing but a hoax. You must be horrified to learn that the
company you paid millions of shillings in consultancy fees is nothing but a
sham, denied by its alleged parent company.
You must be depressed that after so many hours spent struggling to meet
the lofty criteria demanded, you were duped.
But do not lose hope, my dear Phillip , the race has only just begun. Yes, your reputation is now in tatters, but
that should not be a cause for concern, the office you seek is one of great
prestige, one where scandals such as this one often have no bearing. Do not worry about the people of this great
city, they are unlikely to be swayed by these shenanigans, no doubt the work of
your enemies. Come March 2013, they will
queue en masse and select you to be their governor, because that’s just the
kind of idiots they are.
Yours,
(not) Alex
PS. What
brand of crack, kind sir, are you currently smoking?
It seems a particularly fine vintage, I should like to try some myself.
