I need a bit of distraction right now, you?

After spending the better part of yesterday glued to the internet, reading updates and scrolling through pictures, and after a long night of watching suspect TV, I woke up to more live coverage of an empty street, and the Citizen guy still going on about the 'fluid' situation (I don't think he's being sarcastic).  I need a break, something to lift the mood.  

To wit, a little bit of stand up.  Fair warning, all are crude to some extent, all these comics are hands down certifiable and irreverent to a T, and at one point you will want to slap someone, possibly me.