1. Foolish Plan to get laid
DSK
You are the head of the IMF and you’re jumping dodgy maids in hotel rooms? In America
2. Foolish Plan to escape the revolutionaries
A NATO (or not) air strike hits your convoy and you flee to a storm drain? Really? And you didn’t think to carry a loose ka-AK47, or a busty bodyguard with a loose ka-AK47? What is it with men and holes?
3. Foolish Plan to escape justice
slimpossible idiot
This genius mama was on the run from the cops, but could not resist the opportunity to lose a bit of weight on national TV. Wow!
4. Foolish Plan to exonerate your pal
So your guy is accused of consorting with a ‘proscribed sect’ and your/his defence is that they approached you, not him, based on your, not his, long relationship with said sect, but you, not him, said no. Because they were asking for money. And then you gave them 'pocket money'. Hmmm…
5. Foolish Plan to take over the world
You banned booze, and music, and bras, and samosas? And you also stole food aid and medicine. Brilliant plan!
6. Foolish Plan to develop the dark continent
It’s bad enough that you are unable to put up any form of signage to guide me through your random ever changing diversions, but did you really have to shag every single woman between here and Thika, without a bloody condom?
7. Foolish Plan to bang that drum
PRINT MEDIA
‘Shilling falling, Ndungu to blame’, ‘Oil cartels causing rising inflation’, ‘Banks increase lending rates, economy to slow down’… So the print media decided to go on a misguided crusade to protect us poor Kenyans from the evil elite. Good idea. Oh and by the way, the price of your paper has gone up, again.
8. Foolish Plan to bang the wrong drum
R A Massie-whathisface
So God sent the Englishman to civilise us? Woohoo! I know we have a new katiba, but come on… Screw free speech, can someone please deport this lunatic?
9. Foolish Plan to steal from yourself
Where do I even begin? This was a classic case of biting the hand that feeds you, while looking the gift horse in the mouth, and then shitting where you eat.
10. Foolish Plan to steal from your government
RANDOM CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS
Some genius robbers stole cows from a research facility, in industrial area. Yes, they stole research animals, recently injected with god knows what, and now the cops are warning us to be vigilant. If your choma starts to glow in the dark, be afraid.
11. Foolish Plan to get a raise
postal workers union
They went on strike? Really? No, I’m not being sarcastic, did they really go on strike? When?
12. Foolish Plan to not get a raise
“Workers of Kenya Benz .”
13. Foolish Plan to sell us crap
KFC
When did KFC become a fine dining experience? My friend at those prices you’d better be selling me the golden goose!
14. Foolish Plan to sell us crap, again!
EABL
So now you bring back Pilsner Ice?
15. Foolish Plan to become a movie star
So this chap apparently had a South Korean film director and his girlfriend kidnapped in kendo 1986, this because he thought the North Korean film industry needed improvement. And judging by the high number of quality Oscar-worthy flicks coming out of North Korea
Happy New Year folks.
