Sometimes I'm right and I can be
wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people
I am everyday people
Oh sha sha...
I've written this post before, more
times that I care to remember. Exact same shit, different day,
different names. Random people died out in the badlands? Nothing new, that shit happens all the time around here and nobody gives a rat's ass, and
not because we don't give a rat's ass, but because he can't be
bothered to look out for us hoi polloi. 'He whom?' you ask. Nope,
its not the secretary of interiors, nor the inspector of general
things, not even the deputy former president for a day, those men are
but minions in the greater scheme of things. These days I reserve my
anger for the man himself, el presidente, he that claims to be protecting us.
As random Kenyans were getting shot in
the head...
 |
| Crazy Africanz |
...the man was in Abu Dhabi, watching
Formula 1, and possibly signing over more leases and stuff to wealthy
Arabs.
 |
| I sincerely hope the caption is harmless |
Wait, before you go jumping to
conclusions, the man wasn't there to have a good time, he was there
on business...
The UAE, more than
any other country in the Middle East and Africa, has become adept at
milking glitzy sports events to craft its image as a leading
financial and trading capital—enough to attract massive global
investment and to get the world to forget that it is not a democracy.
Kenya's Uhuru,
Gabon's Bongo, Seychelles' Michel and Ethiopia's FM were among the
dozens of leaders at Yas Marina for the season-ending decider.
See? He was there as an investor.
But
wait...
From 1:04 to 1:50
"The
location, as has been stated by His Excellency, the president, and
through the presentation, opens you up to not just opportunities in
Kenya, but also opportunities within East Africa as well as the wider
central and southern African countries.
Again,
I would like to re-emphasise the issue that we have a free floating
currency in Kenya, we have no problem whatsoever with repatriation of
profits, so you invest and you take your profits with no problem,
there are no regulations , no restrictions [emphasis mine]..."
See, this is why I love the internet. This little gem is from back in 2011, when el presidente was a
lowly Minister for Finance and Deputy Prime Minister. Yup, our
finance minister was proud to tell the foreigners that they could
take their profits and bugger off, bila issues. So what if that meant his government would lose possibly billions in much needed taxes? Fuck that, this is business, baby, and we is businessmen! (I'm putting words in his mouth, but am I really?) And in case you think
he was busy spouting his own nonsense without the knowledge of our then super economist prezzo, take a look at 2:06. That
would be Emilio, looking on with what we can only assume is pride
(roho safi, after the missus chapad him with the stool he had only
one expression left, no?). Back to Kamwana...
"As I said,
President Kibaki's government firmly stands on the principle that
government creates an enabling environment, but it is private sector
that does business, it is private sector that creates growth and job
opportunities. We have created the environment, what we are seeking
is for you to make the investment, make your profits, and help us
build Kenya, and indeed build our strong relations between our two
countries."
This was back in November 2011, during
an official state visit as reported here, President His Highness Sheikh Khalifa receives Kenyan President, and here, Kenya, UAE sign agreement to avoid double taxation. From the second link, Wikileaks no less...
"It is worth
while noting that the countries in the region are working together on
mechanisms to fast-track the implementation of priority
infrastructure development programmes," advised the
president.
He, however, underscored that such programmes could only be achieved with adequate resources which the government sought to identify and mobilize in partnership with the private sector and other sources like the Abu Dhabi investors whom he invited to consider.
He, however, underscored that such programmes could only be achieved with adequate resources which the government sought to identify and mobilize in partnership with the private sector and other sources like the Abu Dhabi investors whom he invited to consider.
This foreign investment story deserves
a post of its own, but for the purposes of today's discussion all we
need to keep in mind is that Abu Dhabi is important to us. Well,
them. And us. I hope. The good news is, prezzo didn’t go to Abu
Dhabi specifically to watch Formula 1, he went to do business. The
bad news is, he went to do business. From an article published in
May 2012...
Exports from the
UAE to Kenya surged nearly 72 per cent last year, helping the
Emirates to surpass China and India to reclaim its position as the
largest exporter to the East African country.
The value of
exports from the Emirates reached 199 billion Kenyan shillings
(Dh8.67bn) last year, almost 72 per cent higher than in the previous
year, boosted in part by an increase in oil prices, according to
figures from the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS).
It gets better, or worse, depending...
Although
investment flows into Kenya from the UAE have been relatively
limited, the Abu Dhabi Fund for Development has supported some
infrastructure projects in Kenya with grants and loans.
The UAE's Ministry
of Economy has said that the Emirates' investment in Africa is
expected to increase significantly in the coming years as the UAE
continues its economic diversification efforts. The sectors it is
interested in developing on the continent include infrastructure,
energy, mining, transport and mobile communications, it has said.
In November, Kenya
and the UAE signed an agreement to avoid double taxation - part of
efforts to develop economic relations between the two countries. All
of the UAE's national carriers would be exempt from taxes on
commercial profits, according to the agreement.
Infrastructure, energy, mining,
transport and mobile communications.
Right.
Have I told you how
much I love the internet? I do, I really do. A quick google of 'Abu
Dhabi investments Kenya' and the first two pages of results were
about the deal signed on 23rd November, 2014. That would be Sunday. This past Sunday. A day after the attack in Mandera.
Kenya and the
United Arab Emirates ( UAE) have entered into an investment promotion
agreement that is expected to increase the volume of trade between
the two countries.
The agreement was
signed by National Treasury Cabinet Secretary Henry Rotich and the
UAE Minister of State for Financial Affairs Obaid Al Tayer in Abu
Dhabi yesterday.
The Promotion and
Protection of Investments agreement will see more investments from
UAE flowing into Kenya. Kenyan companies will also find it easier to
do business in the UAE. The agreement eases trade restrictions and
provides assurance for investors in both countries by creating
favourable trading conditions.
See, these buggers are hard at work, no? Yes, they may be selling our souls to the (almost) white man, but
they're working, so stop getting your knickers in a twist because the
man didn’t come home when 28 people got shot in the head by idiot
terrorists.
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Apologies. I should have warned you
about that image, but I didn’t want to give you a chance to look
away. Folks, but for luck of geography, that could easily be you lying
on the ground with your skull blown open and your brains seeping into
the ground. Look again. That could be any one of us, should we
happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Again, apologies,
I mean no disrespect to the dead, or the living, I'm just trying to
get through to you, rouse your passions as it were. Every time these
attacks occur all we get to see are the sanitised images of a shoe in
a pool of blood, with a picture of a candle and a bloody poem. Not this time. This time we need to look at how
our people, people pretty much exactly like us, are dying.
Look again.
See, us fancy Nairobi types, with our
highways and our coffee shops and our swanky lounge bars, we thought
we were above all this madness. Being slaughtered like animals? Never! Then Westgate happened, and that idyllic image was shattered. Then we eagerly forgot. We always choose to forget. Just because you don’t catch a bus or you don’t work in
Gikomba, just because you don’t live in the frontier districts or Mombasa, just because you pray to a certain God or
pay another, just because you don’t look like a possible victim of
random bullshit terrorist attacks, you think you're safe. One of
these days you'll realise you're not, not really. Not as long as the
people we pay to protect us are too busy cutting deals and playing
petty politics to do their fucking jobs.
Remember this grand speech...
Wait, no, that's the wrong one. I
meant this one...
The world sees and
applauds, as we do, our young men and women in uniform, who, under my
command, are bravely fighting AlShabaab’s terrorists at home and
abroad. Our diplomats are crucial actors in a troubled region,
working to end the conflicts, and fill the vacuums in governance,
that allow such terrorist groups room to operate.
The world knows
that as a democracy on the frontier against terrorism, our people
have been brutally murdered by the same terrorist networks that have
sparked mayhem worldwide.
We face these
trials with fortitude, knowing that our work to banish insecurity,
poverty, and division is our generation’s historic task. It is how
our children’s children will remember us.
This speech was just lovely. Except for the minor fact that this was
his 'I'm quitting my job for two days so I can go to the court where
I'm accused of crimes against humanity' speech. I suspect the sentiment, while deeply stirring, may not have been entirely,
umm, genuine, which is to say its complete bollocks. Not that this
comes as a surprise to us, this speech is a repeat of the Mpeketoni
speech, which was a repeat of the Gikomba speech, which was a repeat
of...all the way back to the infamous 'don’t show them how high you
are' Westgate speech. Same shitty speech, different day. But hey,
'Ulinzi Unaanza na Mimi, Ulinzi Unaanza na Wewe'...
Slight detour, why didn’t you people
tell me how hilarious this rubbish is? I'd only seen the crap in
the gazeti, but this shit right here... What! This is fucking comedy! How is this man my president? She wipes tears of hysterical laughter
off her cheeks. Woi. Detour over.
I am everyday people
Oh sha sha...
28 victims. 28 men and women who were guaranteed, nay, owed the same protection
as that given to the government fat cats and slimy opposition
politicians, sitting in their cushy offices in the capital, spewing
all manner of bile. These 28 people, everyday people, died in the
most gruesome of ways, and all the government does is talk shit. And
beef, sometimes up, security.
Our president...
Fellow Kenyans,
I join fellow
Kenyans in mourning the death of 28 innocent Kenyans at the hands of
terrorists and bandits in Mandera. This is a terrible and painful
blow to the families of the dead, and to our nation. It is a setback
to my Government’s effort to confront terrorists and secure
Kenyans. As we mourn the fallen, I reiterate my Government’s
commitment to assure the safety and security of every Kenyan wherever
they are, at all times.
I therefore extend
deep condolences on my own behalf and that of peace loving Kenyans
from every walk of life and faith.
Following this
outrage, our security forces swiftly identified, followed and struck
the perpetrators of the murders . Two succesful operations in their
hide-outs across the border left more than 100 fatalities, destroyed
four technicals and the camp from which this crime was planned. This
rapid action underscores a huge victory against regional terrorist
networks, and strengthens the promise to deliver Security against
internal and external aggression. Whilst This achievement cannot be
ignored, I will hasten to add that we are working hard to ensure that
Kenya is terror-proof in accordance with the best standards. This
involves comprehensive systemic adjustments to ensure that the
structural and operational dimensions of our security system do
justice to the nation’s expectations of a consistently effective,
accountable and professional service. I commend of our defence forces
for their continued efforts to protectour people and country. I urge
unrelenting vigilance and swift, decisive response to any threats,
and unrelenting service to our people.
Mr President, in a most comprehensive
and systemic fashion, kindly kiss the structural and operational dimensions of my fat black ass.
Fellow Kenyans, my lovelies, we are
everyday people. Be safe.
I am no better and neither are you
We are the same, whatever we do
You love me, you hate me, you know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
We are the same, whatever we do
You love me, you hate me, you know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people
I am everyday people
I am everyday people
Oh sha sha...
